Divorced dating with children
“You should only introduce someone whom you have dated for about six months or not until you know you are in a mutually committed relationship,” warns Walfish.
“The main reason for this is to avoid your kids forming an attachment to another man who ultimately leaves them.” Teens may also foster resentment toward your new love if they still hold a secret wish for you to rekindle a relationship with your ex-spouse.
“Teens want their views respected and their input considered.”With any age, it is key to invite your children to talk about their feelings.
“Normalize that it is okay to have many different feelings,” said Chansky.
“Explain to the kids that you are ready to move on and try and find love in your life,” says Melody Brooke, family therapist in Richardson, Texas.
“Explain that even though the divorce and loss of the marriage was painful for you, you hope to find love again because everyone deserves to have love in their life.” Your older children will ultimately understand that you have the right to have a social life, just as they do.
Chansky recommends phrases such as, “You know how happy you are when you play over at your friend’s house, and sometimes you get grumpy if you haven’t had friends over in a while. Mom needs to spend time with friends just like you.”When talking with teens, be open ended and respectful of their feelings.
RELATED: Co-Parenting After a Divorce Be Honest While exploring your own feelings about dating, it’s important that you are honest with your children when you embark on this new journey.“They don’t understand how people can love each other and then not any more.”Aman recommends explaining the concept of divorce in general terms versus focusing on the specific problems in the marriage.Discuss the need to establish new traditions, routines and even new friendships.RELATED: What Not to Say to a Divorced Mom Validate and Reassure As a parent, when you decide you and your family are ready for dating, it’s important to validate your need to date while reassuring your children in concrete ways what won’t change as a result of it.Chansky recommends using phrases that will help ease your child’s anxiety about someone new entering your life.“It’s similar to how you talk to kids about divorce.
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and it’s an adjustment realizing that they have to share their parent with another person,” said Dr.