Facing rejection in dating
Most people will adopt a high external focus of control in the face of rejection.They lose self-confidence and see themselves as incapable, lousy, or even worthless. It only sends you on a downward spiral, which serves absolutely no purpose other than to feel like crap about yourself. Contrary to popular belief, rejection is progression, not regression.Needless to say, rejection can be quite a downer, especially when you’re banking your hopes on a positive outcome.No one likes to receive a “No”, when it’s so much better to get a “Yes”. In my work as a speaker, there are times when participants reject what I share during my workshops. As a personal development blogger, some readers reject what I write in my articles, sometimes writing lengthy personal emails to tell me why I’m wrong.
In life, there are always going to be naysayers – the key is to learn to tackle the naysayers vs. The second, less direct way is to objectively analyze the situation and troubleshoot what went wrong. In fact, the more times one gets rejected, the better – because then you’ll have such an extensive understanding of your blind spots and what people are looking for that nothing can take you by surprise anymore.Rejection helps you to uncover blind spots, to learn more about yourself, and ultimately to grow.The only way to avoid rejections is to box yourself tightly in your comfort zone, in which case you fail to live by default.The point is to use rejections as a driving force to become better, not as an excuse to put off the work.Someone with an external focus of control sees the world as the main controller of his/her universe – He/she feels that he/she has no say in his/her life, and everyone has power over him/her.