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The experience ended Joan's interest in further experimentation, but Mike's affairs continued, in secret, swiftly moving him from open marriage into infidelity.
But, "if you are in an open marriage and you view sex as an expression of love, you are playing Russian Roulette."One common thread through the varying types of open marriages appears to be adherence to the principle that the married couple always takes precedence over any person outside the marriage.
Despite answering my questions separately, without knowing each other's responses, Mike and Joan came to relatively similar conclusions about the risks and consequences of open marriage. What works for one may be disastrous to another.""It takes 100 percent trust in your partner to make an open marriage work," says Joan. Once trust is broken, the open marriage is at risk.
When I ask if an open marriage can be successful, Mike says, "Yes, as long as it stays fun and emotions don't come into play with anyone other than your partner ... It truly takes a special relationship with your partner to make it work." When I ask if it is better in theory than in practice, they both say yes.
To experiment with open marriage, you have to be in an extremely healthy relationship."The difference between the successful and unsuccessful open marriages, she says, comes down to communication, agreed-upon ground rules, and compatible values regarding sex: "The couple has to come first.
Once you stop talking and stop prioritizing your partner's needs, you're in trouble." Robboy believes there are two basic approaches to sexuality: a) Sex as an expression of love, or b) Sex as a fun activity or hobby, like playing basketball on the weekends.